This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
