I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
why is half of my head shaved?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
