All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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