You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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