did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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