Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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