Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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