I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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