I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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