You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
