You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
