i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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