yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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