My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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