I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
