I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize