You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
