i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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