tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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