Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
