it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you will always have a special place in my vag
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
