Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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