It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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