I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
