whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
