when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
