That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
