that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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