The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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