And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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