Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
