i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
