Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
