I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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