before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
