I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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