i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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