areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
