Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
