THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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