I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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