nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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