I think my fart just growled at me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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