i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
