playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
