Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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