So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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