so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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