Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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