you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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