He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
