i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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