I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
