ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
