What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
