I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this boner is exhausting
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
