My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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