You really coming over, don't trick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
