i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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