How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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