K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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