In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
