yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
