I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
