so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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